July 3rd

I do wonder sometimes why he is with me, why he puts up with me, what draws him back to me every time I create a fuss. But then I think about how much I love him, and I see sometimes how he looks at me and I know he feels the same. As if that one look is a perfect substitute for any word in the world, from it I get everything he could ever want to make me understand. My mind is a violent devil; my worst enemy. It convinces me of my awfulness, how I could never be loved, but that one look fights it back again and again. From that wonderful feeling though, comes a deep obstinate terror, that one day, that look; my soldier fighting my daemons, will slowly fade and die, until I am alone in the dark, struggling in my own little war. But for now, I am happy.